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Sunday 24 November 2013

‘Why I married 7 times in 15 years’






The case of a divorcer, Terver  Iortimin, 45, a farmer,  builder and driver  is particularly appealing. He told Weekly Trust that though he got hooked to matrimony at the tender age of 18, but his wedlock has always been rocked,  leading to divorce after a short while. He said, he married seven wives and divorced six within 16 years.    

 
Mbakaan, the father’s pet
Iortimin:  “I was 18 years when I married my first wife, Mbakaan. As a budding young man then,  I eloped with her. Among the Tiv people, elopement is another form of marriage, once the girl agrees. And after the act, you go and settle it with the parents by paying the bride price. But her father strongly objected to our marriage because my uncle in the village had married the man’s first daughter and my wife was his last born in the family”.
Iortimin said his first father-law insisted that two of his daughters cannot be married to the same family and all persuasions to make him see reason with him failed and the wedlock crashed in two years, after he sought to kill him physically.   
 
“When she was pregnant, I thought her father would soften his resistance, but he didn’t. The day she delivered, the father was waiting outside the hospital and whisked her away with the baby-girl, after she was discharged.  Then I knew the game is over,” he recalled.     

Udena, the pugilist
Iortimin who said, after the incident, he could not stay without a wife, because as a farmer in Taraba State, he badly needed a helper to smoothen his farming operations, so he ended up in the hands of Udena, a woman pugilist as wife. 
His words: “Udena was extremely very strong and loved fighting me always. There was virtually no small disagreement between me and her that would not end up in physical fight. In fists of anger, she would even burn properties in the house, including my clothes.  When it became too often, my father advised that a woman with such a heart could kill me and that I should divorce her.”
According to him, the advice from his father came handy, as he was already tired with her in body and spirit, but the woman resisted attempts to peacefully divorce her, coming back each time he took her back to her parents,  until a Grade 1 Area Court, Anyiin enforced the divorce order.

Barren Dudugh
Again alone and lonely, Iortimin still ventured into wedlock.  He said his marriage to Dudugh would have been a rewarding success, except for the problem of barrenness which had diabolical links.  He said the woman told him of the problem, during courtship, even before he paid her dowry, but he never believed as a Christian.
“During our courtship, she revealed to me that she had perennial belly ache problem. And that her people told her it was diabolical and that certain evil things were planted in her tummy. But she arrested me with her love and as a Christian; I refused to believe what she told me. To convince her, I said, even if that was the problem, I could treat her when married to me. Actually, we got married and I did all my best to treat her, but she couldn’t be healed. The problem made her   not to conceive either. So, after two years, she decided to abort the marriage and packed back to her father’s house. She never re-married,” he pointed out.

Msuur, the … maniac
Again,  the case of his fourth wife, Msuur from Ikpayongo  was touchy, he declared.  “Her problem was that she was a sex maniac and wanted the fun every night, I mean every night,   every day. Any night I decline sexual intercourse with her for any reason, may be, because of tiredness, the next morning will be war in the house. She won’t talk or greet me. She won’t cook for me and she would pick open, violent quarrels with me, even for imaginary reasons. As a farmer, everyday marathon sex was weakening me. I could sometimes wake up and be unable to go the farm. So, I was troubled and I gave up. It was beyond what I could bear. So, I took her back to her parents. She spent just nine months with me,” he lamented.

Christy, the adulterer
But quite different from the case of the fourth wife, his fifth wife Christy was neck-deep into adulterous acts. “I discovered she was flirting; she was into adultery and   even slept with my labourers on my farm. I caught her with one of them on my farm.  The labourer was working on my farm and she had gone there to give him food, as it is customary with us. And she ended up in his arms on the farm. Can you imagine it? She had been doing it for long, but I only discovered it that day. So, when we came back home, I returned her to her father the next day.  She spent slightly above two years with me,” Iortimin narrated.

Mngusuun: Snatched by his boss
But if the case of the first five wives were heart-breaking, the sixth one Mngusuun finally shattered his life. He said, as a driver, his wife was dating his own boss, who caused the relocation of both of them to Lagos.   “I left farming in Taraba and relocated to Abuja. A friend advised that as I was staying in a big city, it was not too good for me to live without a wife. She went and showed me this girl, who was just 17 years.  Having abandoned farming in Taraba, I now become a fulltime professional driver in Abuja.  We were living in Mararaba, in Nasarawa State. So, there was this wealthy man (name withheld) who was chairman of the Apapa Wharf then, but late now. He came and was building a house near where we were living. I had no job, so was compelled to work on the house site.  One day, he just approached me that he was looking for a driver and heard that I am a good driver. While working on his house site, my wife would bring food for me, because it was near.
“The man said he needed a married person, because his former driver impregnated his house girl and said, I was the kind of driver he wanted since I was married. I accepted to work for him. The man was in Lagos and relocated me and my wife to Lagos too.     In Lagos, he said I must stay in the same house with him and my wife, which was in GRA Ojota. The compound had two storey buildings, so, he gave us the boys’ quarters. He showed me Lagos and its routes. That was when he also showed me the way to Cotonou and Togo.  I knew these routes perfectly and the man could send me to these places alone. They were journeys that sometimes, could last for four or five days and even more,” he said.
The driver said  he least suspected that the plot to employ him in the first place was because his boss sighted his wife  at his house building  site and admired  her, adding that the offer of the job to him  was to draw his wife closer to the man.
“So, in  Lagos he started sending me to Cotonou and Togo trips; and  it created the chance for him to start an affair with my wife.  Each time I am away to Cotonou, he will take my wife to a hotel.
 “The security man in the house was brought to him by me, right from Abuja. He took the man there even before me. I didn’t know that he was dating my wife, but the security man knew it and he wasn’t happy about it. He hinted me that he suspected Oga’s movements with my wife and so I should check. Armed with this, there came a day my Oga sent me to Cotonou again to bring two power bikes he had bought.  I left the house, but deliberately didn’t travel. I went to Badagry and looked for a joint and hanged around until 8pm. Then, the security man called me to say my wife has again gone out with Oga.
“I drove back to the house in Ojota from Badagry. On reaching the house, my wife was not at home. So, I packed the vehicle inside and sat with the security man at his duty post. So, at about 2:30am, my Oga drove into the house with my wife. Inside the compound,    my boss came down from the car with my wife, sighted me, but walked straight to his upstairs apartment without even asking me why I didn’t travel. I started asking my wife where she has gone with my Oga at that time of the night, but she couldn’t talk and simply walked to our apartment,” Iortimin explained.
Iortimin said his wife later told him that his Oga asked her to accompany him somewhere and it confirmed what the security man hinted him. He said with this he dumped the driver-job and returned to Abuja.  His boss sent for his wife and gave her my outstanding three months salary and a secret N50,000 for herself.  The plot was for her to come back and meet him in Lagos, so that he can open a shop for her, with assurance to marry her and the N50,000 was to foot her bills until she comes back. 
“It was when we got to Abuja that I discovered the N50,000 and a written  note  in her bag indicating  the address that my Oga gave her.  I took the money and the address.  The next morning I bundled her back to her people and explained what happened and it ended. She is still at home, could not re-marry and could not even go back to Lagos to meet my Oga she loved so much,” he said.

5 kids and still counting
Iortimin who has five children from all the marriage adventures says he is presently married to Mercy, who has remained faithful to him and very understanding even in times of difficulties.

Mercy: The faithful one
Mercy told Weekly Trust that she has been able to cope with her husband in the near 10 years of their marriage, because she loves and understands him, adding that she avoids anything she knows would hurt him.  “We have three children so far, but still counting,” Iortimin said. 
 
Culled From Weekly Trust

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