This Article was written By Sally Kenneth Dadzie
I kissed a guy once… and I hated it.
This was so many years ago. I was just a teenager then and this guy
told me he wanted to kiss me. So I closed my eyes and waited for the
Hollywood type of kiss…
But…
That never happened.
First, he forced my lips open. Shoved his tongue in. Spread wide my
whole mouth. And started delivering saliva down my throat. On top of
everything, he was grabbing my head like the kiss was an injunction from
God.
Lawd! That was the worst kiss ever! And I told myself that I was
never ever ever going near a bad kisser again! The moment I got close to
a guy and he didn’t know how to do a simple, ‘part open the lips
slightly’ to kiss, I was gone.
Everyone knows kisses are important in a romantic relationship. You
cannot not know how to kiss. It is against humanity to be a bad kisser. I
am even certain if you dig through time, you’ll find a law from the
middle ages that chopped off people’s tongues if they kissed badly.
Every day, people fall in love and no doubt they will think of that
first kiss and how it’s all going to go. The people who will think of
this more are women. Guys will not mull over the issue much; they tend
not to worry about such stuff – that is if they’re good. But what if
they’re not? What if after their last kissing encounter they were told
that they were bad? What if they don’t even know how bad they are? Like
in my case, I din’t tell the guy; I just went my way and pitied the next
girl he would fill with saliva.
So the big question is: how do you know you’re a good kisser if
you’re not told? How do you get to that point where you know that you’re
damn good?
It’s all about technique. No one is born a natural kisser, male or
female. You learn as you kiss and the good thing is that you don’t have
to be a pro to kiss well.
- Start with pecks.If you’re not sure how to go, keep
your lips close and peck your partner, not on the lips directly but on
the sides of the lips. Then you can move to the upper lip and lower lip.
Pecking eases whatever apprehension you have and gives you time to
breathe before the real deal. Remember not to turn your mouth into a
beak while doing this.
- Go soft.You can now part open your lips a little
and kiss your partner’s upper or lower lip as you did earlier. You can
do this dry. He or she mustn’t feel your saliva yet. Exhale as you kiss
so that your breath blows gently over your partner’s lips. The hot air
will make him or her want more of you.
- Get wet.At this point, it is okay for you to let
your partner taste you a little. Put your lips in-between theirs and
kiss gently. Kiss up, kiss down, move to the side, tug the lips a little
but don’t pull roughly. Tease a little with your tongue as well. Back
off slightly, look into the eyes of whom you’re kissing and then you can
go in again – for something deeper.
THE FRENCH KISS
- Lick the lips.Now, it’s all about lips, tongue and
saliva. No more shame here. Go all the way but don’t get too steamy too
fast. Lick your partner’s lips. Work your tongue on them in a ticklish
manner, both on the outer and inner parts.
- Suck the lips.Go deeper. Suck those lips but
softly. Don’t pull them into your mouth like you want to swallow or you
could cause injuries. Nibble and tickle with your teeth as you do so.
- Go all the way. Now you have your partner’s lips
wanting yours. By now, they would have kissed back equally and shown
signs of wanting more, by trying to push in their tongue. Don’t hold
back now; it is time to ignite the fire by claiming those lips
completely.
The truth about French-kissing is that no one can teach you
completely how to go about it. If you follow the above teasing and
introductory stages, the rest comes naturally. It is a connection
between two people and it differs with each couple, depending on
chemistry, lips structure, passion and reason for the kiss. You might be
kissing because sex is on the agenda, or just teasing each other or
just for plain attraction or love. All of that contribute to how intense
the kiss should go and the manner in which it occurs.
Still, you need to have certain things at the back of your mind; trick and tips that can help you.
- Use your hands. If you’re a guy, hold her face; put
your hand behind her neck and caress her gently as you kiss; run your
fingers through her hair (if her weave is not in the way); hold her
waist alternatively and squeeze gently with each movement of your lips;
or you could hold her face (females like this better); play with her
earlobes, lift her chin up with a finger and look into her eyes while
delivering short kisses. Ladies, the nape of a guy’s neck is sensitive
as are his earlobes. Gentle strokes should be applied. If you have long
fingernails, use them to tickle and tease; you could also rest your
hands on his chest at the initial stages until theings gets steamy.
- Control your saliva. If you don’t spit when you
talk, I don’t see why you should deliver copious amounts of saliva to
your partner when kissing them. Swallow your spit as you kiss. Chances
are you’re swallowing your partner’s juices as well but it’s no issue;
you’re already kissing them.
- Avoid slobbering the face with saliva. Saliva is
for mouths, not the face. Unless the person you’re kissing tells you
they like it, don’t do it. Saliva on the face leaves a not so nice smell
and turns a lot of females off. I don’t know about guys but generally,
stick to the lips and other erogenous zones.
- Don’t clash teeth. I once heard a funny story told by a chick who
said a guy she kissed kept hitting her teeth with his that she was sure
if anyone heard them they would think swords were clashing. Please don’t
do that. Teeth are for nibbling alone.
- Don’t open your mouth too wide too quickly. Some
people hear of French kiss and they automatically think it’s all about
opening wide their mouths and covering it over another person’s. No,
don’t do that. Let it widen as you kiss.
- Listen to your partner’s responses. He or she may want to go slow but you are going fast. Respond to them. If they are not doing much, then you can lead.
- And lastly, talk about the kiss before it happens.
If it’s your first time together and it isn’t one of those spontaneous
moments, then you can actually talk about the kiss in a manner your
partner would not be offended. Go like, “I love your lips and I want to
kiss you now but I don’t know if you’d want to.” If they give you the go
ahead, then add, “How would you want me to kiss you? Like this…?” And
then you can start with a small peck or an introductory kiss. Or
alternatively, talk about your worst kissing experience and ask about
theirs. That way you know what they like or don’t like. With time, you
guys know what works best for you and you’ll kiss effortlessly.
Hope this helps someone today.
By the way, happy demo day! |
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