I just turned 31 years and interestingly, I have two Divorce certificates and multiple partners. You do not have to judge me from reading this because I am being truthful to myself—something most of the women out there cannot do.
My experiences with men have been one hell of heart break to another. Even the religious ones did it to me too. It got to a time I thought I was just not good enough for anyone, leading me to a courtyard of low self-esteem.
As most girls I know did, I had my first real encounter with a man when I was 19 and within 3 weeks; I was dumped like a piece of rag. I clearly remember how I felt when he will not return my calls and was seen countless times with my good friend—they were doing more than just hanging out.
From there, I tried most of them who were bold enough to pursuit me for 3 or 4 months. All the time, these men made me feel I was the only special person out there. And without me, life will end for them.
Eventually, they all jumped off. I got married to my first husband and the father of my 6 year old kid. He was caring and a good man—at least I thought so until I found out that he had slept with almost all my friends, including my little cousin.
As a woman who has a child with him, I was ready to forgive him but then, it was more than that. He was not interested in me. The only time he was nice to me was when he needed some money.
He finally moved out and after a year, divorce was the only option.
I do not want to talk about the hell I went through in the hands of men being a single desperate mother who so much wanted a fatherly figure for my son. Nationality or color was of no concern to me so I dated several of them—-they all disappointed me and left me standing alone in my dreams.
Then I married again. I am sure you will be saying “what the heck”. But he was such a gentleman and out here in Europe, such men are hardly to come by.
Once again, I was used by this educated Nigerian for something he lacked—his permanent residence. The moment he obtained his ‘papers’, I was of no used to him and he suggested we stay apart as the tension between us was too much for him…
He was gone for 2 years so once day I asked myself this. What was the point to be married when you cannot see your husband? So Divorce was the necessary exit route again.
The way and manner men have treated me has left me with no desire to have one anymore. I’ve learned how to satisfy myself in bed alone, so I do not lack or need that for now.
But I do need someone to talk to and share intimate moments with. It seems men do not just know how to treat women and I think another woman will know better.
I am a liberal individual who has nothing against lesbians except that I always considered men a better alternative. With what I have gone through, I will surely be trying my peace of mind with a woman—and woe unto anyone who will try to judge me on that…
Men have not treated me well so what is the point?
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